9News (Colorado’s News Leader, and don’t you forgets it!) has a heartwarming story of a Parker family who found a money clip at Jackson Hole belonging to some some famoose NBA dude who’s too busy traveling the world with his Victoria Secret model wife to bother getting back his cashola and ID and credit card and all, so they called 9News to gets the word out and return the money to the previously mentioned  NBA playa. Like all good honest Colorado folks would do, of course.

From the tale of discovery:

In search of a good bargain, the Rogers family decided to ride the free gondola up to the top of a mountain while on their vacation in Wyoming.

“We do anything that’s free,” Jane Rogers said.

“I was over on a pile of snow… sliding down on my feet and my mom just told me, ‘Quickly, quickly, come over here,’” Dustin Rogers said.

In a melting pile of snow, Jane had found a silver money clip – and it was full.

Yeah, heartwarming and all, but what those 9News peeps didn’t tell you is that there’s millions of dollars worth of cash, cell phones, ski poles, gloves, sunglasses, bags o’ weed, gold chains, goggles, GPS’ssses, flasks, diamond rings, cigarettes, lottery tickets, bongs, ladies unmentionables, lighters, Golden Tickets, full bottles of beer, wine and liquor, and other sundry and skeezy items just waiting to be absconded by you! That’s right, run up to the hills right now and start looking under all the lifts and scouring all the runs, ’cause there’s treasure just a-waiting to be found.